I have an interesting new development in life: some heightened paranoia. I have not had paranoia of this intensity since earlier this spring. I suppose it is the stress of my upcoming speech at the MACMHP conference in Duluth. I’ll explain what’s going on.

About four hours ago a couple of squad cars pulled up to my condo building. I was just going to go to bed, but was curious as to why the police were here. I didn’t find out, and they came and went. If that had been the end of it, perhaps I would be sleeping now. Instead, they have been patrolling outside my building with drive-bys every few minutes. This has gotten me paranoid that they were coming for me, and so I have been refusing to let myself rest, lest they come to kill me in my sleep. After about two hours of paranoia and anxiety, I picked up my cell and called 911. I told the dispatcher that I had noticed the police patrolling outside my building and was wondering if I were safe. She told me the officers were looking for someone earlier, and now just happened to be driving by to go to other calls.

I don’t know what to make of that. I think she . . . well, I don’t know what to think. The police might still be coming to kill me, and so I’m going to have to stay awake. This is just what I don’t need right now. I’ll try to get some sleep later today.