I don’t know what I want in life right now. I’m not confused, but for the first time in a long time I’m not thinking (or worrying or stressing) about my future. I’m just content living in the moment. And I’m realizing more that God is using me to impact people’s lives in a positive way; it’s a good feeling.

There is not much to write at the moment, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just content. At the moment there is nothing I would rather be doing, nothing I’d rather have in my life that I’m missing, nothing I’d rather avoid that I’m enduring. Total contentment.

It’s a feeling I haven’t had in a long time. My suffering has lifted completely. It’s not a weird or empty feeling – it’s not like when I first went on meds and felt empty because my paranoid delusions were taken away. It’s different than that. It’s more like the taste of water; there is nothing and yet it is refreshing and satisfying. I’m going to enjoy this for as long as I can this evening, and I will get back to writing tomorrow.